Sleep and Consequences

I've been taking many a nap lately, and I must say they're not helping me one bit. I'm not very rested, nor am I restful. I'm so "wasted" right now I don't know what to type. Typing for an audience wears me out and paralyzes me somewhat. I can't believe I'm gonna go back to school. I was actually thinking of that as I woke up from a nap I took tonight - from 6pm to 8:45pm. I wonder, if this is how I manage myself and my time now, how the heck am I gonna do graduate work and manage all that? I think I'm in for some hurt and many more sleepless nights because I refuse to be responsible. I think this blog is turning into a self-pity party, so I better quit before I waste any more space.

Nocturnal Elicits

Every two months or so I am woken out of reasonably solid sleep consistently an hour before my alarm is set to go off. I never wonder why as I immediately feel that the Lord is calling me to commune with him through prayer/the word/whatever. This is ironic as I desire these situations when I'm wide awake, but as consistently as God calls, I ignore him and roll over to go back to sleep. It's not quite as easy as that, though, as I must willingly deny the opportunity for a special meeting with God. Today was one of those days. Just as before, I feel an incredible sense of loss and an assuredness that this opportunity will not present itself for another couple months. I can't believe I give these times up for an hour of sleep. In fact, the extra hour of "sleep" I get is never deep nor restful; it's more of the tossing & turning variety.

Why do I do this?

Some day I'll respond to the Lord and have something positive to write about, perhaps?